The week of February 4th is Teen Dating Violence Awareness week, and high schools nationwide will be educating students about this important issue. Any relationship, regardless of the ages of the partners, can show signs of becoming volatile. According to the Web site www.loveisnotabuse.com 24 percent of 14 to 17 year olds know at least one student who has been a victim of dating violence, yet 81 percent of the parents felt that dating violence was either not an issue or they weren’t aware that is was an issue. Parents need to be able to talk to teens about safety and dating. Parents will benefit from educational and awareness programs, as well as teens, that provide information on how to recognize unhealthy relationships. Many groups around the world are working cooperatively to educate both teens and adults about unhealthy relationships. Teaching males and females the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship can hopefully prevent future violence. Groups such as A Call to Men work diligently across the nation to help redefine the traditional “male” roles and help men of all ages to understand how sexism, use of male privilege and dominance are laying the groundwork for all forms of violence against women. As a society we need to begin to raise our sons to believe in equality in relationships and break down the traditional gender roles that have created these dangerous beliefs.
“Positive role models such as law enforcement, teachers, or coaches, men who our young men and boys may look up to, need to take a proactive role in talking to, and teaching youth appropriate and positive behaviors. They should not only have what they watch on the street or television to teach them. Positive and constructive reactions to conflict can be learned if all men make an effort to model appropriate behaviors,” said Lt. Darryl Ouellette Maine State Police.
Boys should not have to feel that their masculinity is equated to their ability to be physically aggressive, nor should they feel that society and their peers might give them less respect if they choose to treat their partners with caring and respect.
As boys and girls grow and begin to experiment with intimate relationships they should be encouraged to consider their partner’s needs as well as their own. Parents and educators must help teens to use their courage and speak out against dating violence. Teens must speak out if they see or suspect a peer is mistreating their partner. Standing by and allowing others to treat someone badly gives the impression of condoning the abuse, and makes the observer a silent partner in the unhealthy relationship. Boys and girls, men and women, standing together to show that any form of abuse will not be tolerated, will begin to slow and eventually stop the cycle.
Information on building and participating in healthy relationships is often written for girls and women. Men and boys may feel left out and uninformed. Fathers, brothers, uncles, teachers, coaches and any man who has a relationship with a child or teen can help model non-violent behavior and offer healthy solutions for dealing with conflict. Good resources for men and boys on what they can do to stop the violence are: A Call to Men, www.acalltomen.org, The White Ribbon Campaign, www.whiteribbon.ca, and The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help by Jackson Katz.
For more information about Teen Dating Violence Awareness week please contact the Battered Women’s Project at 532-4004.
Increasing teen dating violence awareness important
By Chris Batby
