What you need to know — ASAP
Sponsored by the Aroostook Substance Abuse Prevention Collaborative
“He’s such a good kid, you don’t need to worry about him.” “She gets good grades in school. She’s such a good kid, I could trust her with anything.” Have you ever heard a parent, teacher or other community member say something like this? Have you been surprised when you heard of a top student getting caught for doing something bad? Our culture places high value on excelling in school and sports. It is therefore easy to think of students who succeed in these areas as “good” kids, after all excelling in either area necessarily demands a certain level of “good” behavior on their part (i.e. completing homework, steering clear of drug use, following school rules). So how do we make sense of “good” students doing “bad” things?
The simple answer is that all teens are influenced by their perceptions of what their peers are doing, what their parents and other adults think, and what is valued in the popular culture that permeates national media sources. First, research shows that misperceptions that “everybody’s doing it” actually make young people more likely to drink alcohol. On the other hand, when these misperceptions are corrected, and kids realize that “not everybody’s doing it,” they are less likely to drink alcohol.
Second, parents and adults must be aware of the messages they communicate to kids about alcohol. Reaching for a drink in front of your kids and saying “I had a tough day” communicates that alcohol is a good way to relieve stress while telling drinking stories in front of kids can make alcohol seem necessary to have fun.
Third, parents and adults who interact with youth must be aware of what media sources like Facebook, YouTube and television communicate about alcohol and take advantage of opportunities with kids to educate them about why some messages are wrong.
Most importantly, we must avoid categorizing kids as “good” kids and “bad” kids. Yes, some kids have more going for them — they tend to make responsible choices, engage easily with adults, thrive in the school setting, excel in sports, or are committed to a their religious faith. Yet, “good” kids are human, too. They are influenced by everything around them and they are subject to the very fact that they are kids … they think they are invincible, don’t want to listen to their parents’ advice, think that 16 is the same as 21, and sometimes make poor choices. We as adults must remember these facts.
Finally, we should also remember that our children will only learn to make responsible choices if we make their mistakes into true learning experiences by following through with real, logical consequences. That means, when a student athlete is caught drinking at a party, he does not play baseball for the school. It means when a child forgets his homework, the parent does not bring it to school for him. Children must experience the consequences of their choices before they get into the real world, where there are real world consequences. It is only in doing so that they will learn to make “good” choices on their own.
This article was brought to you by Aroostook Substance Abuse Prevention (ASAP) Coalition. For more information about ASAP, call 521-2408 or visit www.asapcoalition.com.
