Let the games begin
What you need to know — ASAP
Sponsored by the Aroostook Substance Abuse Prevention Collaborative
The roar of the crowd, the squeaky sound of basketball sneakers on a gym floor, the crack of a bat, and the tap, tap, tap of a soccer ball are all sounds that bring back wonderful memories of playing sports as a child. As I take a trip back down memory lane I must admit that I no longer remember the scores for all the games, or all the wins verses loses. What stands out in my mind is how I learned to think past myself and be a part of a team, how to win with humility and lose with dignity, how to have fun, work hard and always do my best regardless of the outcome.
I remember learning to fall in love with the sport because it was fun not because I liked to win. Do not get me wrong, I am competitive and I enjoy the feeling of success just like everyone else. A little bit of competition feeds our soul and makes us want to aspire to be more, do more, and reach higher. The problem arises when the game simply becomes about winning.
As adults scream out profanities at the umpire for a bad call, parents yell at their children or others on the team to get a clue, and coaches slam their hats on the ground in frustration, one has to wonder if we have somehow forgotten what “the game” is all about. What are we teaching youth as they hear the yelling, watch their coach get a yellow card and see the utter disappointment in every adult’s eyes they look up to and respect?
On this particular Friday evening as I sit back and watch as a mere spectator not only of the game but the coaching, parenting and youth I wonder what our kids will remember about their game.
The top two reasons youth participate in sports is to have fun and spend time with their friends. The reality is that very few athletes will actually make it to play college or professional sports but all youth need positive adult influences, a strong self-esteem, social and leadership skills to be successful adults.
According to Search Institute, there are 40 building blocks of development that all young people need in their lives to be successful. The more of these youth have the more likely they are to make positive choices and avoid negative influences.
Coaches have the power to build developmental assets in the lives of young people. They can choose to teach not only the rules and strategy of the game, but teach important life lessons. Good coaches help young people develop confidence and self-esteem, help them resolve conflicts peacefully, teach them ways to take care of their health and well-being, and help them develop skills for communicating with others.
What if instead of yelling profanities at refs, throwing down a hat in anger or focusing on winning, we were to focus on building assets in the lives of all young people? Would winning suddenly seem less important than the opportunity to make a difference in the life of a young person? If the focus shifted to helping players get better, not be the best it would reduce the fear of failure and give them permission to try new things and stretch their skills?
Highly competitive sports can cause a great deal of stress for young people. With academic pressure, family dynamics, financial strains, etc. shouldn’t sports be a healthy outlet for our youth? If youth did not feel the stress of highly competitive sports wouldn’t it make sense that performance would improve as well?
If you are lucky enough to have positive coaches, parents and asset rich youth programs in your community, keep up the good work! For those communities who have lost their way, it is never too late to take a new pledge. A pledge that might sound something like this: “Win or lose, I pledge to …have fun playing the game to the best of my ability; be a team player; respect my teammates, my opponents and officials; obey the rules; be a good sport at all times; and improve myself in spirit, mind and body. Win or lose, I pledge to be proud of the athlete I am.
Coaches, referees, parents, and grandparents, you all have an opportunity, through sports to be the difference in a child’s life. It is my hope that when your child looks back at their youth sports memories, they will remember the friendships, the inspiring adults who helped them build their self-esteem and the fun they had win or lose. As they say, “Let the games begin”.
Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.
This article was brought to you by Aroostook Substance Abuse Prevention. For more information about ASAP and 40 Developmental Assets contact Allison Heidorn, project assistant (540-6772) or visit www.asapcoalition.com.
