Learning family history from relatives
Talking with relatives about your shared history will enrich you in ways you cannot foresee. If you have gathered your documents and filled out a pedigree chart, you know what you need to learn from them. Decide whom to talk to, and make a list of questions to guide you. Whether you “talk” in letters, e-mails, on the phone or in person, just ask a few questions each time. You won’t overwhelm your relative, and you will be better able to process the information. Take a lot of notes, or better yet, record it somehow.
Family Searcher
By Nina Brawn
Once you get them started, most people want to share their unique perspective. Ask questions that can’t be answered “Yes” or “No”. Instead of “Did you live in Waterville all your life?” ask, “What was it like growing up in your neighborhood in the 1920s?” Dates, places and background will give you clues for other questions.
When my father’s family talked about the “old neighborhood”, I learned that every day before school, they went to a Polish bakery for a pastry. That is how my Polish Uncle Eddie later met my mother’s sister. (He made the best hermits ever!) But I certainly never would have thought to ask one side of the family about the other. You never know what you may learn if you leave enough doors open.
Be kind, polite, and respectful. Allow your relative to lead, and be patient with repetition. You may have heard the story (a hundred times!) but now you will be looking for clues. You might ask about the first immigrants. How did they end up here? Relatives may also have artifacts. Ask to see family photo albums. Old letters or recipes sitting in a trunk will show handwriting, and may give dates and relationships, tell who served in the military, when and where babies were born. Are there family bibles? How about family mentioned in books, magazines or newspapers? Were family names passed on as middle names?
Remember, relationships are delicate. There may be walls from previous generations. We all fought with siblings, we all have cherished memories and secrets. Be prepared to get information that you will not be able to share with others. Life is too short to aggravate old wounds or open new ones.
Use the “facts” you get as a starting point for your own research. My family research started with a photograph of a wedding certificate from the 1880s. Years later, we found out it had been altered. Until you prove it, it’s not a fact!
When you get the information home, immediately record it so that you will still understand it years from now. Write on it the date of the conversation, who gave the information, and the family it pertains to. On a separate sheet, list the facts you got, and any questions the conversation raised. Finally, write a quick thank-you note and send it out.
In the next column, I will cover official documents. Until then, enjoy and cherish your family.
Editor’s note: This regular column is sponsored by the Aroostook County Genealogical Society. The group meets the fourth Monday of the month except in December and June at the Cary Medical Center Chan Education Center, near the entrance to the Caribou Inn & Convention Center at 6:30 p.m. Guests and prospective members are always welcome. Columnist Nina Brawn of Dover-Foxcroft has been doing genealogy for over 30 years, is a free-lance genealogy researcher, speaker and teacher. Reader e-mails are welcome at ninabrawn@gmail.com.
