By Gloria Austin
Staff Writer
HOULTON — There is never a dull moment at the Pam and Conrad Prosser home. Their eight girls and grandchild keep them rather busy.
When the Prossers were first married, they dreamed of having a family together. After 10 years of marriage and unable to have their own children, they decided to adopt.
Contributed photo
Pam and Conrad Prosser of Houlton pose for a photograph with all of their children, who have been adopted.
The Prossers were introduced to their first baby through the Maine Adoption Placement Service (MAPS).
“She was three weeks old, premature and weighed less than four pounds,” said Pam of her daughter Destiny, who will graduate from Houlton High School this year. “We had her for awhile and thought she should have a playmate.”
With the cost of adoption, the Prossers realized it would be a financial strain. Then, Pam, who at the time was assistant manger of McDonalds, met Peter Crovo of Community Health and Counseling Services during the Giving Tree project.
“He introduced us to foster care,” Pam explained.
The Prossers had several children come through their home, as they provided respite and helped a lot of children reunite with their birth families. But, then came a phone call that would jumpstart their family.
“I got a phone call from someone who knew we had been doing foster care and had experience with siblings,” Pam explained. “Three sisters needed a home. They were all in separate homes and wanted to be together. So, we brought them together.”
Tammy, who was 10 at the time; Haley, 6, and Felicia, 5, were reunited and adopted by the Prossers.
“Everything just fell into line,” said Pam. “The kids needed a home.”
Then the Prossers were going to adopt a baby boy through MAPS, but due to his medical issues, he passed away before the adoption took place.
But, the Prosser family continued its growth when Annah, who was age 5, came into their home.
“Annah was in a foster home,” Pam said. “She needed a home and we adopted her.”
The children are Tammy, who is now 20 and a mother herself; Destiny, 18; Haley, 17; Felicia, 16 and Annah, 13. And, after a year-and-half of living with the Prossers, Kallie, 10, Khaitlynn, 8, and Kara, 5, were adopted this October.
“There are challenges,” Pam explained. “But, all children need unconditional love. My girls have been through a lot of stuff that most kids hopefully will never experience.”
Pam would also like to mention Jonica, who is now eight.
“She lived with us for over three years and then was reunified with her birth mom. It was heartwrenching, but I feel blessed to be able to have her visit as often as possible.”
Even though the Prossers are a blended family, Pam and Conrad try to treat all their children equally.
“We try to teach safety, responsibility and respect,” Pam said. “Of course they are like other siblings, they fight. I know I can’t always make everyone happy, but I try to give them the opportunities to be happy.”
The Prosser children are allowed opportunities to reconnect with their birth families if possible. Pam believes that biological connections are important and the Prossers love their children and its evident.
“We do really enjoy the children,” said Pam. “We always wanted children. Once we started foster care, we realized how much need there is for people to help these kids.”
Though foster children come into homes at different ages, the Prossers know love doesn’t have boundaries, barriers or timelines.
“Sometimes, it is harder to bond with children who come when they are older,” Pam admitted. “When you have a longer time with a child, such as we did with Destiny, you get to do all the nurturing that maybe some of the other children didn’t have. But, you build on from where they are at.”
Pam encourages others who may be thinking about foster care to call the Department of Health and Human Services to find out more information.
“If someone has a giving heart, patience and room, become a foster parent,” Pam said. “All these kids just need love.”
And, understanding and compassion even though the children might not know, they are filling up a heart.
“I want my kids to be always able to come talk to me about anything,” Pam said. “That goes back to unconditional love. I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to shape and guide and hopefully be a part of their lives forever. Just seeing them smile every day and trying to do something to make them smile is rewarding to me.”
With the Prossers still fostering children, are there more adoptions in the future?
“Right now, our youngest is 5, making us about 62 when she graduates,” Pam smiled. “I don’t want to close the door. If someone calls and says there is a need, we will stop and think about that and consider what is best.”
