Parent Educator for the Aroostook Council for Healthy Families
Are you a parent? Have you ever wondered if Dad’s really are important in the lives of their children? Are you a Dad? Do you feel left out of your child’s life? Do you wish you could spend more time with them or be more involved?
Sometimes men take a back seat in their parenting role because women take control and sometimes Dad’s just don’t know what to do with their kids. They may not have had much experience with children before or they are separated from them for some reason or other. If you ever wonder if Dad’s make a difference, they do! Recent research tells us that children actually do better when they experience the different parenting styles of both men and women.
As they grow, children who have highly involved fathers often do better in some areas of development than children who have less involved fathers. They tend to become better at solving problems and handling frustrations, more socially skilled, more understanding of other’s feelings, and better at dealing with a variety of people. Active fathering also contributes to a child’s sense of humor, attention span and eagerness to explore and learn. When fathers are involved in their children’s education, the kids were more likely to get A’s, enjoy school and participate in extracurricular activities. When these boys grew up, they were also more likely to be good dads themselves.
At the same time, the sad fact that children who grow up without a father figure in their lives are 10 times more likely to be economically disadvantaged, twice as likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crimes or to behave antisocially and two to three times more likely to have emotional problems. Fatherless children have a higher rate of asthma, headaches, anxiety, depression and behavioral problems. Teenagers are at greater risk of alcohol, tobacco and illicit drug use, and suicide and Adolescent girls are 3 times more likely to engage in sexual relations by the time they turn 15, and 5 times more likely to become a teen mother.
Being a good parent means understanding your children, this includes their activities and their friends. And being a good Dad includes the same things. Not sure how to begin? Here are some tips that may help: Communicate — Take 15 minutes from your day and have a conversation with your child. Ask how his day went or offer to take him to dinner or some other outing; Listen — And do so without lecturing or being judgmental. Nonstop lecturing may alienate your children; Respect their privacy — If your child is older, allow a little more personal space than her younger brothers and sisters. Respect her time alone or with friends. Just make sure she knows that she can always come to you if she feels like talking; Be there — Make a point of attending your child’s school events and recreational activities (sports games, school plays, graduation). Not only will it make your child feel loved, but it may help him enjoy school and keep his grades up; Give your kids responsibility — Allow them to make their own choices and make them take responsibility for the bad ones. For example, you can’t force your daughter to study, but you don’t need to bail her out if she fails the class either; Be fearless — Talk to your teen about tough issues. Avoiding these discussions may send the message that you don’t care. Studies show that children, especially teens, are affected by their fathers’ attitudes toward topics like sex or illicit drug use; Be creative — If, for whatever reason, you can’t have regular face-to-face contact with your children, support them in other ways. Make sure the child support gets paid and don’t miss your scheduled visitation days. If you are divorced or separated from your children’s mother, work to maintain an amicable relationship with her. Constantly fighting with your ex may hurt your kids emotionally. So if you are a Dad, remember how important you are in having your child become the best they can be!
Source: fathermag.com
