Did you know that Santa had a terrible Christmas Eve
When he came over the state of Maine in his sleigh
The Maine State Police, in their helicopter
They met and checked him all the way
Gave him a ticket for being over-loaded, isn’t that a sin
They had it in for Santa, oh yes they really did
The High Sheriff didn’t get everything he wanted, when he was just a kid
When he got to Houlton, there they were again
They had caught him speeding on the radar gun
Or was it too close to Peek-A-Boo Mountain Tower
You would think it was a red light, that he had run
When he arrived in Caribou
Boys, oh boys, it was a cold, cold night
There were those men, in uniform again
The F.A.A. had called them, another summons, he hadn’t registered the plan for his flight
Down he sped to Millinocket
To leave more presents, to spread more Christmas cheer
Oh no, here comes that helicopter, it’s from the Animal Rescue League
They are going to give Santa a summons for overworking his reindeer
Onward to Bangor and there, guess what
They were in a jet and forced him to land at B.I.A.
Saying he was in a restricted zone
Some wanted him taken to B.M.I. for a little stay
Finally his journey was near the end, he had arrived in Portland
He said, “Just once, don’t let them make me stay”
But alas it was no different there, he was hauled over by the EPA
The reindeer had been too long from the barn, the evidence was all over Santa’s sleigh
Then his last stop was in Kittery
Homeland Security was waiting, oh they used him rough
Santa emptied out his sleigh and headed home
Saying to one and all, “I think I’ve had enough!”
