This past week my very dear friend, Nancy, had to say goodbye to her cat of 20 years. She said that Lily had been her pillow and lap warmer for so long and had lived a wonderful life of luxury.
It happened on Nancy’s birthday, but it was her gift to Lily and herself to let her pet have peace. She misses her tremendously but knows that she is young again, able to see, able to hear and playing with all the others that passed before her.
Animals are truly a gift from God and losing them hurts. For those who have recently suffered a loss, Claire Gillenson, a pet loss educator and life transition coach, has often written about coping with the loss of a pet.
With the holidays near, it can be easy to feel lonely and isolated if you’ve recently lost a pet, especially if this is your first holiday season without a beloved family cat or dog, Gillenson says.
Below are some of Gillenson’s suggestions that might help you get through these weeks without having to try to “be strong,” “act normal” or hide from the emotional pain.
Deck the halls with new rituals. Honor your departed pet’s memory by sharing a story, hanging a stocking or ornament, or lighting a candle in remembrance. Creating new rituals is important both to process the loss and start new traditions. It is important to acknowledge the bond and depth of relationship you’ve shared with your pet.
Talk about your feelings with those you love and love you. Celebrate your beloved pet with people who understand. Talk about the gifts you’ve received from your furry family member. Acknowledge the ways you’ve moved through grief this year.
Acknowledge all of your emotions. Give yourself permission to feel it all: to laugh, cry, find joy or enjoy silence. Take pleasure in the holidays. You don’t have to be strong and pretend everything is fine if it isn’t. Sometimes, it can be difficult to experience joy when one is “mourning.” It is not disrespectful to the memory of the departed pet if you enjoy yourself.
Create a list of close friends you can reach out to ahead of time. Volunteer in memory of your beloved pet. Bring old towels to a shelter. The possibilities are endless and will help take your mind off the death of your pet.
Stop by the Central Aroostook Humane Society or check us out on Facebook and see the many wonderful pets that are just waiting for a loving home.
Please be responsible: spay and neuter your pets.
Gloria J. Towle is on the Central Aroostook Humane Society Board of Directors.
