The Star-Herald

A little doggy humor

Thought we could all use a few chuckles as we near the end of 2019. For all who read our column, thanks so much for being such great supporters of our weekly articles. 

And a special thank you to The Star-Herald for so generously allowing us the opportunity each week to share our thoughts with you.

More chuckles can be found at

Merry Christmas and wishes for a fabulous new year.

“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” – Roger Ziegler and Esther Yang

“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.”  – Christopher Morley

“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” – Anne Tyler

 “I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” – Bonnie Schacter

 “I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!’”  – Jonah Goldberg

 “In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” – Derek Bruce

“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”  – Ann Landers

“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!”  – Greg Curtis

“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” – Dave Barry

“A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” – Author Unknown

 “Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.” – Author Unknown

“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”  – Sue Murphy

“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well — almost.”  – Charlotte Gray

“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted” – Sian Ford

“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”  – Helen Thomson

“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.”  – John Steinbeck

“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.” – Author Unknown

“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley

 “It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” – Rodney Dangerfield

 “When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” – Kristan Higgins

“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry Truman  

 Gloria J. Towle is the secretary and a member of the board of directors of the Central Aroostook Humane Society.

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