To the editor:
Yes, Americans, I now have the final solution to the increasing gas ($2.73 today, headed for $3) and home-heating oil prices. Not only is it the final solution, but it’s by far the best, most fool-poof solution ever offered to man or beast. Here it is, now read carefully: Rather than allowing the whacko politicians in Washington to enjoy ever-increasing paychecks and benefits regardless of performance, permit those immense paychecks and majestic benefits to be tied to the cost of petroleum products. Now, I mean inversely tied. That means as the cost of those products increase, their paychecks and benefits decrease in direct proportion. And conversely, their paychecks would increase with decreasing prices of those products. Understand now that those royal whackos in Washington are untouched and uneffected by cost of living increases and, therefore, are numb (double entendre here) to the burdens of increasing prices of just about everything when the price of petroleum advances.
I realize that we have lost control of our government and, ergo, my aforementioned proposal will never be. But, think about it. Is there any question that somehow, someway, if those whacko politicians were to face fewer dollars in their envelopes every week, they’d go all out to find ways of controlling the cost of petroleum (downward, of course), if only to protect their own cushy lifestyle? Of course they would, but it ain’t gonna happen. Too bad.
Dick Graves
Presque Isle
