Finally the days are getting longer. Temperatures are rising. And critters are starting to move. Spring is coming even though it may seem a tad slow. When the sap starts running snow does not have long to stay.
Early morning and nature’s patrols are out and about. They are cute, but determined. They look for field mice, grubs, bugs and worms. Creatures who are determined to wreak havoc with things that scare your bushes, trees, and lawns into shriveling up and dying.
Left to their own work, these black-and-white patrol officers are dedicated and determined to safeguard their territory. Spring brings a problem that has beset man since Adam first strolled through Eden: twitterpation. Twitterpation is the idea that love is in the air and the rest of the world can jump in a lake. Birds succumb to it, bees buzz about it and skunks raise a stink. This is the “ewww” factor in love.
Just as patrol officers in black-and-white cars would prefer a quiet shift of no tickets, no accident reports and no disrupting arguments, skunks just want to live their lives enjoying a smorgasbord as good as any Denny’s. Being natural creatures, though, they want to seek out a compatible partner and canoodle.
Canoodling is one of nature’s most amusing jokes. It is also one thing that creates chaos and havoc.
Chaos and havoc are the hallmarks of trouble. Skunks have a reputation for scented response. When upset, terrified or annoyed their tail rises up in a straight line, muscles in their back end flex and out shoots a pungent spray, telling the world that Mr. or Ms. Skunk is ticked off. This result can cause chaos at the church house and havoc in the streets. When dogs are involved, the mother-in-law has a few words with the son-in-law and the family runs. Cleaning the dog usually involves tomato juice, soap and water, and lots of language that would make most sailors blush. All of this creates chaos and hoots, making the quiet disappear in shrieks and guffaws. Even the dour minister manages a slight chuckle.
Skunks in springtime wander. They have slicked down their fur, rubbed the sleep from their eyes, brushed their teeth and are now looking for love. It’s canoodle time. Mr. skunk is searching for Ms. Skunk and they are not connected to broadband service. No cell phone service and no dances at the K of C hall. We — and our cars, pets, and toys — get in the way. A determined skunk can get angry. Love is a very determined function. When impeded, anger results. When a skunk gets angry…
Thus this inspires the very sensible statement: Love stinks.
Orpheus Allison is a photojournalist living in The County who graduated from UMPI and earned a master of liberal arts degree from the University of North Carolina. He began his journalism career at WAGM television later working in many different areas of the US. After 20 years of television he changed careers and taught in China and Korea.
