By Natalie Bazinet
Staff Writer
While it’s true that every couple has their own set of obstacles to overcome, Joseph Pelletier and Sara Abaza’s obstacles were a little larger than most — over 6,000 miles and a bit of a language barrier larger, to be specific.
Contributed photo
It may have been the second time that Sara Abaza, left, and Joseph Pelletier, right, were married, but it was their first on American soil. Their second wedding was held in Sinclair on Aug. 6; their first was held on Nov. 12, 2009 in Salmia, Kuwait.
Joseph grew up in Connor with a very French family while Sara was growing up half a world away in Kuwait with an Egyptian family — looking back, the two are very aware of the geographic difference in their upbringing.
“I think back, and while I was a kid playing in northern Maine, she was a kid playing on the beaches of Alexandria, Egypt; half a world apart, and now we’re together,” Joseph said.
But their story begins before they were wed on North American soil just last week, back before they were married in Kuwait in 2009 and even before they met for the first time in 2006 on a little place called the Internet.
After graduating in 2004 from Caribou High School, Joseph was working for Maine Military Authority. Shortly later, a company came buy looking for contractors to work on military equipment overseas.
So Joseph agreed to take his skills as a mechanic abroad, unaware of the sequence of events slowly unfolding before him.
Or the culture shock.
“When I first got there and I saw all the men holding hands and wearing dresses, and the women in black all covered up,” he said. A grin formed while he recalled those first days in a foreign country. He soon learned that the “dresses” were dishdashas, the men were holding hands because it’s a cultural norm in the Middle East, and the women were wearing abayas — a traditional head-to-toe black cloak.
Contributed photo
Joseph Pelletier and Sara Abaza were recently married for the second time; as the first wedding was held in Kuwait, the early-August wedding in Sinclair was a welcome opportunity to celebrate their union with Pelletier’s family and Aroostook County friends. Pelletier’s family comprised most of the wedding party which included, from left, Abby Daigle, Libby Pelletier, Amanda Pelletier, Sara and Joseph, Cody Collin, Ian Wilkins, Josh Daigle and Casey Morneault.
“It was definitely different, coming from The County,” Joseph added.
Hailing from a place where meat and potatoes reigns supreme, it took his taste buds a little time to adjust to the region as well. His first meals on a new continent were from KFC and Burger King.
“Eventually, I got tired of that, so you start to try different things,” Joseph said.
Indian food, Arabic food, Filipino food — his palate has certainly expanded (though he did mention that he’s tried more American restaurants in Kuwait than he ever did in The County).
While Joseph was busy adjusting to the array of cultures that make up Kuwait, Sara was finishing up college and studying to be an aerospace engineer — not a common field for women of any country. She’d also taught herself English.
“I just tried speaking easily, slowly with everyone who spoke just English, and I’d try to read signs,” she explained, “and I’d listen to the Backstreet Boys while reading along with the lyrics,” she said, laughing.
Sara liked to spend time on the popular Internet site Myspace getting to know people from different cultures which is how, in 2006, she came across Joseph’s profile.
“I thought ‘hot guy, American, lives in Kuwait — I need to talk with him.” She shared laughter with Joseph as they recalled their acquaintance..
Because as anyone who’s been on the Internet can tell you, when you get a message from a pretty girl indicating that she wants to talk, it’s usually spam.
Which is exactly what Joseph thought too. But after checking over her Myspace profile, he sent her a message back. They chatted over the Internet for a while and had a few phone calls, but eventually the two lost touch.
Joseph continued working on military vehicles and Sara graduated college, taking a job at the airport performing mechanical work on the planes.
About a year had passed since they’d last spoken when Joseph randomly ran into Sara one day at a friend’s house.
Joseph remembered Sara, but his appearance was much different that the photo she’d seen a year ago.
“I told him ‘I don’t know you, I wouldn’t have let you go!’” Sara remembered.
Shortly after re-kindling their friendship, they started dating.
Sara’s dad and mom, Hussein and Sanaa, aren’t too strict when it comes to upholding cultural traditions, but for Sara and Joseph to be together without Hussein’s prior approval wasn’t going to work.
Joseph explained that in some Kuwaiti families, marriages are either arranged or the bride and groom have to be from the same area.
For two years, Sara and Joseph found secret ways to be together; Joseph worked just five minutes from the airport where Sara worked, so they’d frequently meet at the Starbucks in the terminal but it was also a lot of going-in-one-door-and-out-the-other for Sara.
“It was really stressful because it wasn’t just seeing him, you’d have to lie afterwards about not seeing him and it just adds a lot of stress to your heart.”
After two years, the couple knew they were destined to be together.
In late August of 2009, Joseph and Hussein sat down over coffee and Joseph asked for Sara’s hand in marriage.
They talked a bit about Joseph’s family and where he grew up — a conversation reminiscent of the talks most American fathers would like to have with their daughter’s future husbands.
Hussein approved of the union and the two were married in a big wedding a few months later in a beautiful traditional ceremony surrounded by 230 friends and Sara’s family.
But none of Joseph’s family was able to attend.
Which is why he asked Sara to marry him a second time.
“He got down on one knee and asked me if I wanted to marry him again, and he gave me the ring that had the date of our American wedding on it,” Sara remembered, smiling wide at her husband. She of course, said yes.
Joseph and Sara have been married for almost two years, but that didn’t diminish the significance of their Maine wedding in the least.
“It’s hard being from two different families across the world,” Joseph said. “Our wedding [in Kuwait] was nice, but none of my family got to experience it”
The two had a smaller wedding attended by 100 family and friends last weekend up in Sinclair across the street from where his mother (Shirly) grew up. It was a quieter, simpler wedding than their first one held outside during what Joseph feels is northern Maine’s best time of the year.
This was his first time home for an Aroostook summer since he first left the County over seven years ago.
“That first night back, I just wanted to sit outside with my dad [Harry] and watch the sun set, breath the fresh air, smell the grass, hear the birds …” he said.
Sara also seemed pretty happy to be in Maine.
“My whole life I’ve been dreaming of a place like Maine – just opposite of where I’m coming from,” she said. Maine is a quiet step back from the city life of Kuwait. “When you need a vacation from were I’m from, this is where you go; this is a vacation dream.”
Joseph and Sara were plus one on their visit to Maine this time, bringing home their 8-month-old son Adam Joseph Pelletier to meet his American family for the first time.
The small family will be shortly leaving The County to head back to Kuwait, and they’re bringing with them more than happy memories; Joseph’s older sister, Amanda, a former educator at the Connor School, will be heading to Kuwait with them to further her teaching career by educating students over 6,000 miles away at a private school.
Two years of dating in secret and two uniquely unforgettable weddings later, Sara and Joseph are positive that they were meant to be together.
“That’s something that comes across my mind any time we argue or fight, that we happened for a reason” she said. “It’s impossible for him to be from here and me being from the other side of the world — It was meant to be.”
And about the couple secretly dating for two years?
This reporter asked Sara if she was worried about her parents finding out after the story printed.
“[My parents] aren’t going to see this newspaper, so don’t tell!” she answered.
