Remember Red Skelton? Red had a “Great Old Pro” way with humor. He could slam all of us, yet we all loved him. His humor was a thin disguise for his respect for us.
Red often picked on women. He respected women. He left them in stitches, and they loved him. Now, many years later, women still love Red Skelton. These one-liners by Red were recently e-mailed to me by an in-law senior lady clown. I hadn’t thought of Red and his antics for years. My lady clown in-law and I wish to remember Red with you.
Red’s Perfect Marriage Recipe
Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere … but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been for a long time,” she said … so I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said, “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down,” … so I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me, “In the lake.”
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” … The driver said, “No. Jump in.”
Remember: Marriage is the number-one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t want to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust.”
My lady in-law added to the e-mail what we all probably think when we read Red Skelton again: “Can’t you just hear him say all of these? I love it … this is the good old days when humor didn’t have to start with a four-letter word … just clean and simple fun.”
For information on issues related to aging, contact the Aroostook Agency on Aging at 764-3396 or 1-800-439-1789. E-mail: Info@aroostookaging.org or visit www.aroostookaging.org.
