Having discussed terms with the Denizens of the Ordinary, it has been agreed that the world will continue to whirl about the sun and the sun will continue to shine. It has also been agreed that loud, obnoxious, embarrassing, hilarious and stinky odors and sounds will continue, to the delight of audiences.
Further, nagging, condescending relatives will continue their quest to instill misery on the posterior brain.
The other side has conceded that snow will arrive; mosquitoes will bite before introducing themselves properly; and halitosis will invade the oral cavity. Flowers will bloom in the spring. Rain will arrive and your neighbor with the “super thrust” leaf blower will meet his match with horse droppings just as the preacher comes by to admonish sinful ways.
There are plenty of adventures waiting to happen. The scratch and dent shop at the local hospital is stocked and ready for small errors in judgment, and the bears have agreed that they will only sample your bird feeders on a regular schedule. The deer will do their best to stay out of the road but can’t be responsible for those who imbibe a bit too much. That is the responsibility of the officers and deputies who do the wrangling.
The rescue teams are primed and hoping that their pagers do not chirp. It will not be their fault if you attempt to recreate an exercise in futility by overthinking brilliant ideas. Ralph Kramden and Norton speak from experience with moon shots.
The next months will hold laughter and tears as people discover limitations and realities. It will be an interesting year.
Everyone should continue to exceed expectations and chase the impossible dreams. The course is now set, the sails are unfurled, and the shops are already banging up the planters.
Now, celebrate a happy new year.
Oh yes, bears in the woods do not use or need toilet paper.
Orpheus Allison is a photojournalist living in The County who graduated from UMPI and the University of North Carolina. He began his journalism career at WAGM television, worked around the U.S., and later changed careers and taught in China and Korea.
